Take a look in the Mirror by Grace M.

One of the first practices each Renaissance Programs clients are instructed to begin, is the daily ritual of looking in the mirror.  Who is that person looking back?

Personally, I can remember a time when I could look in the mirror and never see myself.  There is an art to avoiding the image of the parts of us we don’t want to see.  For me, at that time, (30 years ago) what I didn’t want to see was my weight.  I could walk past the mirrors in my apartment and never see my size, which for me was 60lbs over a healthy weight.  More troubling than that is that it was brought on by avoiding a real good look at my emotional self.

The more, I avoided my emotional self, the more weight I gained.

Finally, while passing a store window in NYC, I looked past the mannequin and saw an unhealthy and unhappy woman.  It was me.

I returned home, stripped and faced myself.  I admitted my unhappiness, my fear, my self doubt. I admitted to overindulging on food and omitting exercise and fun activities.  And, I committed to courage, responsibility and action.

The result was leaving a relationship, filing for bankruptcy, accepting help and living at a friends apartment, and losing 60lbs.

Thank God for gaining weight.  It was a tool that forced me to finally look at myself. The body is a great metaphor for facing challenges and making changes.  Headaches, stomachaches, cramps, the list can go on and on.*  Many times, these painful physical experiences are a signal for a deeper issue haunting our health.

There are many mirrors available to expose these issues.   They come through the people we encounter, spend time with, share lives with, find issue with, get exasperated with, dislike and love.

Who is the person looking back from your mirror**?  Are there people you talk about alot?  Is your spouse providing the “love” and “attention” you need?  Do your important relationships repeat a similar pattern? How do you feel about your bosses, children, sisters/brothers, mothers-in-law, etc?

Is there a common trait that seems to keep showing up in sales clerks, fellow drivers, students, family members?  Is there a hurt so great in your heart that you may feel someone has caused?

If there is, I challenge you to look past the mannequin.  I challenge you to find the person who is not providing the love, the person who holding back, the person being judgemental.  See in the smokey background that person who has the characteristic so often complained about.

Recently I had to look in the mirror and strip again.

It’s interesting that I had to admit to many of the same things again, unhappiness, fear, self doubt with a new twist.  I was overindulging on trying to be too perfect, being judgemental, wanting to be right…and underachieving on compassion and forgiveness.

The result this time is renewing a loving relationship with my husband, stepping out to accomplish my dreams and feeling more relaxed and less responsible for everything every day.

There are still struggles.  I still know I love potato chips and I still know I have very strong opinions. But now, I am committed to not letting the imperfections I see (and can admit to seeing)  in myself create bigger unhealthy problems in my life.

This is the first relationship each person needs to address.  Looking for love?  Find it in the mirror first.

In Love & Gratitude, Grace

* To learn more about the concept of emotions reflecting physical pain try reading Louise Hay’s “You Can Heal Your Life”

** Two books really helpful in understanding the concepts of “mirrors” in our life are

The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire by Deepak Chopra and The Divine Matrix by Gregg Braden