Over and over again clients will say they are doing everything they can and still they are not seeing results.  Can this be true?   Is it normal or even possible, for anyone to be fulfilling all the requirements for making a positive change and really not getting results?  In some cases, yes.  Still, this answer must be qualified.  What are the actual requirements to create a change in health, habits, lifestyle or relationshi

1. The first, and maybe the most important is to really want to do it.   You may be thinking, “Of Course, I want it”…but that does not mean you really want it.   Do you want it badly enough to commit to the process even when it is uncomfortable?  Experience shows a large percentage of people do not want to make that change.   Most people want to make a change that will come easily to them without having to do the work.

2. That work begins with a serious self assessment. There is no way to change the outcome of our habits unless we first admit we have habits to change.  Whether these habits are poor eating and nutritional patterns,  lack of exercise, poor posture, negative attitudes, acting without thinking things through  etc.   It is the exceptional person who will look at the situation, be it job, family, health or relationship and choose to start with the admission of  “I made the choices that led to this situation.  How can I identify them?”

3. Find a coach. No matter what to goal, no matter how well we think we know our  “issues”, it is always worthwhile to find an expert and get their input.  Even if it only a one time consultation to be sure the correct actions are in place, get the input.   Isn’t it a little crazy t leave the solution to the person who created the problem?

4. One thing a coach may help with is the ability to set realistic expectations.  It’s very natural to think that the correction will be a “snap”.  But, in reality, real change requires patience and knowledge about the time it will take for the effects of any action to be realized

5. Then, of course, there are those who are very willing to seek out an expert but are totally unwilling to follow their advice. In fact, these people ask everyone for advice and don’t listen to anyone.

6. Create a measurement tool. Before any program  can begin there must be a tracking system in place.  A rocket can not be launched without direction, a course chart and a timetable and expect to reach its’ destination at all, never mind intact and on time.

7. Stay with the program.  Even plans that start well are likely to hit a snag.  Get excited about it.  This is the opportunity to make the most significant long term changes.  Think about it.  If you are a fireman, it’s not about simply dousing the small fire and then running out when the blaze is roaring.  It’s about staying in there when the going gets tough.

These are the 7 keys to complete success.

Thanks to everyone that joined us at the Health Fair yesterday…. Hoping all that  attended were able to take advantage of the free medical screenings offered by NHMC AND registered to win free tickets to THE CHOCOLATE FESTIVAL coming to the Senior Center next Weekend! Good luck to those that did as being there would be a GREAT TREAT in itself. Make sure to continue looking for dates and times regarding the newly tapped segments of “Being with Grace”  and call (910) 231-8046 to RSVP your space for the “Mind, Body, & Holy Spirit” classes.

One of the first practices each Renaissance Programs clients are instructed to begin, is the daily ritual of looking in the mirror.  Who is that person looking back?

Personally, I can remember a time when I could look in the mirror and never see myself.  There is an art to avoiding the image of the parts of us we don’t want to see.  For me, at that time, (30 years ago) what I didn’t want to see was my weight.  I could walk past the mirrors in my apartment and never see my size, which for me was 60lbs over a healthy weight.  More troubling than that is that it was brought on by avoiding a real good look at my emotional self.

The more, I avoided my emotional self, the more weight I gained.

Finally, while passing a store window in NYC, I looked past the mannequin and saw an unhealthy and unhappy woman.  It was me.

I returned home, stripped and faced myself.  I admitted my unhappiness, my fear, my self doubt. I admitted to overindulging on food and omitting exercise and fun activities.  And, I committed to courage, responsibility and action.

The result was leaving a relationship, filing for bankruptcy, accepting help and living at a friends apartment, and losing 60lbs.

Thank God for gaining weight.  It was a tool that forced me to finally look at myself. The body is a great metaphor for facing challenges and making changes.  Headaches, stomachaches, cramps, the list can go on and on.*  Many times, these painful physical experiences are a signal for a deeper issue haunting our health.

There are many mirrors available to expose these issues.   They come through the people we encounter, spend time with, share lives with, find issue with, get exasperated with, dislike and love.

Who is the person looking back from your mirror**?  Are there people you talk about alot?  Is your spouse providing the “love” and “attention” you need?  Do your important relationships repeat a similar pattern? How do you feel about your bosses, children, sisters/brothers, mothers-in-law, etc?

Is there a common trait that seems to keep showing up in sales clerks, fellow drivers, students, family members?  Is there a hurt so great in your heart that you may feel someone has caused?

If there is, I challenge you to look past the mannequin.  I challenge you to find the person who is not providing the love, the person who holding back, the person being judgemental.  See in the smokey background that person who has the characteristic so often complained about.

Recently I had to look in the mirror and strip again.

It’s interesting that I had to admit to many of the same things again, unhappiness, fear, self doubt with a new twist.  I was overindulging on trying to be too perfect, being judgemental, wanting to be right…and underachieving on compassion and forgiveness.

The result this time is renewing a loving relationship with my husband, stepping out to accomplish my dreams and feeling more relaxed and less responsible for everything every day.

There are still struggles.  I still know I love potato chips and I still know I have very strong opinions. But now, I am committed to not letting the imperfections I see (and can admit to seeing)  in myself create bigger unhealthy problems in my life.

This is the first relationship each person needs to address.  Looking for love?  Find it in the mirror first.

In Love & Gratitude, Grace

* To learn more about the concept of emotions reflecting physical pain try reading Louise Hay’s “You Can Heal Your Life”

** Two books really helpful in understanding the concepts of “mirrors” in our life are

The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire by Deepak Chopra and The Divine Matrix by Gregg Braden

How do you tell your elderly mom that you’re worried about her living alone?

If we develop a deep sense of trust in God, serenity will come into our way of life.